


His Choice

by AcceleOrder



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Death, Fighting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 08:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3440804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcceleOrder/pseuds/AcceleOrder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night out eating and drinking; just the two of them, and Sasaki just has to go out of control then. Now Suzuya has to choose — Is he dealing with the SS Rated Ghoul, or his friend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for a friend who deserves Suzuya (her fav character) angst after sending me Kaneki death headcanons. Again, not proofread. Sorry!

It was a good thing they chose the roundabout way to return to the CCG Headquarters. Sasaki probably knew he was going to lose control over his inner ghoul. He was glad the fight’s taking place in a deserted area. Now there’s no reason to hold back. More importantly, it meant Sasaki trusted _him_ to be able to stop his inner demon. Regardless of the price. Even if it meant his life.

* * *

A cry escapes Suzuya just as another of Sasaki’s many _kagune_ tentacles pierce through his abdomen. This time, it was his large intestine. His voice was already hoarse from all the shouting. Suzuya coughs out blood, staining his clothes further, but even that he wasn’t allowed to do in peace as yet another tentacle charge at him. This time, he is able to block it, though not fully, and he is thrown back against the cold wall with a grunt.

He was stupid to have used his hidden knifes for juggling earlier.

Suzuya owes Sasaki favors, and it isn’t just one, _many_. Shinohara always told him to repay his debts. But would he be able to now? He’s injured badly — another one anywhere on his body would prove fatal. He can’t call for back-up; they’ll (Arima) kill him without batting an eyelash. With things as they are, there is, in fact, a high chance of him getting killed before restraining Sasaki. But it has to be him. If the only way to survive was to kill him, _Suzuya_ wants to be the one to do it. It’s kill or be killed.

He has to choose.

Being thrown against an at least 50 year old wall bought Suzuya time. It collapsed when they made contact; but it didn’t fall on him, and is instead shielding him from view. Sasaki was growling not 3 feet away, sniffing. It won’t be long — Ah, he’s seen him. One human eye, another one that of a ghoul’s. That one eye was probably the only thing human about Sasaki right now. Shinohara’s warnings were roaring in his mind. Roaring at him to _move it._

Suzuya’s lips curl up into a smile at the thought of Shinohara, flashing a neat set of bloody teeth to no one in particular. It’s funny how the injuries he sustained earlier throbs at the mere mention of Shinohara, yet he feels nothing in battle. His lips part, and he laughs shrilly. At his weakness. At himself. At the pain.

_At the pain (loss)._

It was unfair.

So unfair. Unfair how the pain was so much, too much. Unfair how even now, Shinohara is whispering words of encouragement into his ears. When he isn’t even _here_.

He screams and he screams, but it isn’t because he’s being speared with the thick, hard-as-steel _kagune_.

He cries and he cries, but it isn’t because his blood is pooling out of his wounds and dying the area surrounding him red.

He laughs and he laughs, but it isn’t because Sasaki, so unguarded, believing Suzuya has given up on life with his cries, is edging closer.

He is tired.

_Shinohara-san…_

Suzuya hacks out blood. Sasaki is closer, but five breaths away. 

What was he hesitating for?

Suzuya reaches out, but it isn’t to stab Sasaki with his hidden knifes, or to harm him in any way. He couldn’t have managed anything else either way; he’s lost too much blood in his few precious moments spent in sentiment. 

"Do you know…" Suzuya manages to wheeze out with a faint smile, "—what your name is?"

Sasaki, who was ready to pierce Suzuya through his head, pauses. His brows furrow, and the wide smirk he’s been carrying fades as he tilts his head. It wasn’t _Sasaki_ who made that pause, it was the instinct. The instinct of the ghoul (Kaneki) in him. 

"Do you know…" Suzuya cuts himself off, sucking in another painful breath, "that I miss Shinohara-san? I miss him. A lot.

"I miss him so much." 

Tears he’d forgotten existed, tears he’d never shed since the day Shinohara went into a coma, stream down his face, mixing with the blood, his blood, Sasaki’s blood. “I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.” He repeats, hands pulling at hair, smile becoming crooked, eye sockets wide.

Sasaki stays still. He (Kaneki) knows this feeling. He’s experienced it. No, no, no, no… He must eat. He has to eat. Sasaki grabs at his own head, fighting a battle only he can.

"…And you know something about him?" Suzuya was talking to himself by then, his grip on his Quinque tightening until his knuckles were visible. He uses it as a support, forcing himself to stand. He chokes on his own blood, coughing, spitting out when his mouth was too full of it. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand even though his whole arm was bloody as well.

"He once said he’d ‘be sad if I died’. I didn’t really get it back then. I do now. And that’s why…" He lifts his Quinque, now towering above the crying and kneeling Sasaki. "…I _can’t_ lose this battle. I won’t lose Sasaki too.”

It falls, straight into Sasaki’s chest. “…! Gah… gh…” He gasps, clawing at Suzuya. The movement grows weak, slow, and, eventually, stops entirely. With a final weak croak, Sasaki slides onto the ground, motionless. 

Suzuya lets himself drop onto his knees, wheezing for breath. He did it. His sweat mixes with his blood, his tears, overflowing like his feelings. His eyes dart around now that he can afford to do so. This time, he smirks at the sight. “…What a mess. If Hanbee sees this, he’d make a fuss, wouldn’t he? Shinohara-san.”

…

His vision was getting blurrier by the second. The bleeding wasn’t stopping. _I can’t… die… yet…_ Suzuya makes an effort to stand. He got as far as half knee bent before toppling onto the cold, hard, bloody solid ground, next to Sasaki who has a peaceful look on his face. The smell of blood was enough to make even Suzuya nauseous. Sasaki, too, now, was drowned in his own blood. And perhaps, some of Suzuya’s. Who could tell? It was a bloody mess, after all. Sirens could be heard approaching.

"…Ahh, damn."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it got slightly messy halfwau through; its a mix of my friends and my headcanons. Maybe Suzuya was a lil over OOC?? But he's an adult, so aye! And guess what? You get to choose who died... Good luck!


End file.
